Married Life Today

There are spoiled children, spoiled wives, and spoiled husbands. Then there is a spoiled cat. They are in a category completely of their own. Our family cat is named Simon Lebeau. Not just Simon, like any normal cat. Simon Lebeau. He will not respond unless you say the whole name either. This is just a little example of just how spoiled my wife has made this cat.

Simon Lebeau runs my household. Nobody eats until he does. Nobody sleeps if he does not want them to. He is the King, and he knows it.

For an example, let me tell you about his night night routine. When Mommy goes to bed it is always before me as I stay up writing on most nights. I will take Mommy to bed, and spend some time with her before she heads off to sleep. Simon Lebeau has to be between myself and my wife on the bed. No exceptions. He lays across my wife’s chest and gets rubbed by us both until it is time for me to go.

At this point, Simon Lebeau stays with Mommy until I walk into the kitchen and get him his nightly ice cubes from the freezer for his water bowl. Once he hears them drop into his water bowl, he sprints into the kitchen and watches them melt. Same routine every single evening.

Heaven help me if I want to try to, uh, get “closer” with my wife. I have to literally kick Simon Lebeau out the room. So much for being King of my own castle.

That title belongs to Simon Lebeau.

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