Married Life Today

Sitting in my easy chair and enjoying WWE Raw, I was enjoying a pretty uneventful Monday night. Batista had just power bombed Kane and was about to finish him off for the count. Then my wife decided that the end of the show was the perfect time to tell me to chase a fly. Yes, I said chase a fly. I had sat through an entire show of matches that meant nothing just to get to the end of the show, and be asked to chase a winged insect that is a hell of a lot faster than me.

Surely she would understand the silly request was not meant to be followed, right? She did not really want me to get up and chase that fly, did she?

Yep. She could not not concentrate on her Pogo games with a fly buzzing around, and I was the man.

Somehow being the man means that I kill all living things that she no longer wants around. Spiders? That is me. Snakes? Definitely me. Grasshoppers, mosquitoes, beetles, ladybugs, stinkbugs, and all things multi-legged are, you guessed it, me. I have strong muscles. I have a strong stomach. I am the hunter supreme.

Why is this always the case with women and men? Why not let the woman chase the tiny stuff, while we men go out and bag the deer? Maybe a buffalo or something. I have to tell you that I would much prefer a buffalo to a spider. They have way to many legs to be trying to chase, and they scare me. There, I said it.

I am afraid of spiders. Snakes do not bother me, as I can see them coming. Ditto for most other insects. A spider is so fast though, that you have no chance.

I think next time I will tell my wife to kill her own dang fly. I am going to tell her that I am busy, and I do not like killing random bugs around the house. I am going to put my foot down……

Alright already….Where is my flyswatter?

Trackback URI | Comments RSS